This morning, my husband and I were trying to sleep in. My kids did not have access to the TV or computer, and I was a little nervous about how they would entertain themselves while they were unsupervised. When I woke up, I heard them all listening to Christmas songs on our local radio station. Then I heard Morgan chime in in his lispy voice with his version of a Hanukkah favorite.
I had a little dreidel,
I made it out of snow,
I baked it in the oven,
Where did my dreidel go?
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Pregnancy Update
Today, I finally got in to see my new doctor.
We started with an ultrasound with the technician, and my cute little baby had a good strong heartbeat. It looked good, and the baby was a good size. It was so cute seeing it kick around in there.
The doctor came in. First question, "How are you doing?" Second question, "What is wrong with you?"
We went through my pregnancy history (4 pregnancies ending in live babies, and 3 ending in miscarriage- 2 of those losses occuring at 20 weeks), and discussed all of my fears. He was blunt and honest. He let me know which of my fears were valid, and which I needed to let go.
He told me that my worries about pre-term labor, and bed rest could be let go. He basically told me that if this pregnancy is going to make it, it will not be because I spend 9 months in bed. He sees a lot of high risk patients, and he says that with a history like mine, this pregnancy has a 40% to 50% chance of ending in fetal demise between the 15th and 20th week. He did tell me that if I can make it to 20 weeks, I should be safe. He told me that there are many women who loose multiple pregnancies in the second trimester, and we usually don't find any reason for it. Usually this is because the testing for the genetic abnormalities that cause the miscarriages are very expensive, and not covered by insurance.
We did some blood tests to rule out many causes. He is pretty sure the tests will all come back negative.
He is going to see me again in two weeks, and then he will see me weekly during the time when my other babies died. He told me that once we get to 20 weeks, we can plan on having a boring pregnancy. That will be nice.
I am pleased with this doctor. He only takes very high risk paitents, and he only takes a handful of those. I feel really lucky that he has accepted me as a patient, and that he will be helping me do everything I can to get this baby here safely. I do wish I had some more concrete answers though. I hate the waiting game, but it was nice to get the news that the baby is healthy right now. I'll keep you updated.
We started with an ultrasound with the technician, and my cute little baby had a good strong heartbeat. It looked good, and the baby was a good size. It was so cute seeing it kick around in there.
The doctor came in. First question, "How are you doing?" Second question, "What is wrong with you?"
We went through my pregnancy history (4 pregnancies ending in live babies, and 3 ending in miscarriage- 2 of those losses occuring at 20 weeks), and discussed all of my fears. He was blunt and honest. He let me know which of my fears were valid, and which I needed to let go.
He told me that my worries about pre-term labor, and bed rest could be let go. He basically told me that if this pregnancy is going to make it, it will not be because I spend 9 months in bed. He sees a lot of high risk patients, and he says that with a history like mine, this pregnancy has a 40% to 50% chance of ending in fetal demise between the 15th and 20th week. He did tell me that if I can make it to 20 weeks, I should be safe. He told me that there are many women who loose multiple pregnancies in the second trimester, and we usually don't find any reason for it. Usually this is because the testing for the genetic abnormalities that cause the miscarriages are very expensive, and not covered by insurance.
We did some blood tests to rule out many causes. He is pretty sure the tests will all come back negative.
He is going to see me again in two weeks, and then he will see me weekly during the time when my other babies died. He told me that once we get to 20 weeks, we can plan on having a boring pregnancy. That will be nice.
I am pleased with this doctor. He only takes very high risk paitents, and he only takes a handful of those. I feel really lucky that he has accepted me as a patient, and that he will be helping me do everything I can to get this baby here safely. I do wish I had some more concrete answers though. I hate the waiting game, but it was nice to get the news that the baby is healthy right now. I'll keep you updated.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Still Hanging in there and feeling grateful!
I have now finished my first trimester, and things have not changed very much. I have good days and bad days.
My first doctors visit is on Tuesday. They are going to do an ultrasound. I really hope to get some good news, and some answers.
Tonight, Michael said the blessing on our food. The kids are so cute to bless the baby in their prayers. For some reason, the wording they use is that "the baby can come out safe." Tonight, Michael blessed the baby that it could come out safe, and be strong and healthy, and live to be really old. I sure love my kids!
A few weeks ago, Michael came and told me that he didn't think this baby would be born. I told him that it really sucked that he thought that, because I think, often times, kids are more in tune with what is going on that adults are. We talked about how we would be sad if the baby doesn't make it, but that it would be okay, because we were already so very blessed to have the family that we have. Allen heard what we were talking about and he had to come add his two cents. He feels like everything will be just fine, and that we will have a healthy baby at the end of this pregnancy.
It is interesting how many references there are to babies in this world. Of course, most times when women announce their pregnancies, it is a joyful experience. When mothers bring new babies around, everyone coos, and cuddles the little bundles. Advertisers cash in on the baby cute factor with many pictures of babies, and the also try to connect with mothers, by showing mom's cuddling with babies, kids playing happily etc. After my miscarriage, and with this pregnancy, as I thought I was loosing the baby, these experiences would always make me cry. I didn't realize how many of these situations were out there until it became a painful thing. I've recently been following a friends blog. He was a good friend in high school, and his blog shares his family's adventures. He and his wife were married for 14 years before they were able to adopt a young girl from China. He is now back there adopting his second little girl. I have many friends who have not been able to have kids, or who have struggled for many years to become pregnant, failing many expensive tries. I know, if I have this baby, I will want to shout from the rooftops! I will want to let everyone know every moment how grateful I am. I will brag about squishing cheeks, and neglecting house work to hold my little one through it's nap. I am so very excited to be a mother one last time. I think I definitely deserve to be very happy when this pregnancy ends well, but I hope that I will also remember the difficulty, and remember to be sensitive to others.
I'll post on Tuesday, and let you know how the doctor's appointment goes!
My first doctors visit is on Tuesday. They are going to do an ultrasound. I really hope to get some good news, and some answers.
Tonight, Michael said the blessing on our food. The kids are so cute to bless the baby in their prayers. For some reason, the wording they use is that "the baby can come out safe." Tonight, Michael blessed the baby that it could come out safe, and be strong and healthy, and live to be really old. I sure love my kids!
A few weeks ago, Michael came and told me that he didn't think this baby would be born. I told him that it really sucked that he thought that, because I think, often times, kids are more in tune with what is going on that adults are. We talked about how we would be sad if the baby doesn't make it, but that it would be okay, because we were already so very blessed to have the family that we have. Allen heard what we were talking about and he had to come add his two cents. He feels like everything will be just fine, and that we will have a healthy baby at the end of this pregnancy.
It is interesting how many references there are to babies in this world. Of course, most times when women announce their pregnancies, it is a joyful experience. When mothers bring new babies around, everyone coos, and cuddles the little bundles. Advertisers cash in on the baby cute factor with many pictures of babies, and the also try to connect with mothers, by showing mom's cuddling with babies, kids playing happily etc. After my miscarriage, and with this pregnancy, as I thought I was loosing the baby, these experiences would always make me cry. I didn't realize how many of these situations were out there until it became a painful thing. I've recently been following a friends blog. He was a good friend in high school, and his blog shares his family's adventures. He and his wife were married for 14 years before they were able to adopt a young girl from China. He is now back there adopting his second little girl. I have many friends who have not been able to have kids, or who have struggled for many years to become pregnant, failing many expensive tries. I know, if I have this baby, I will want to shout from the rooftops! I will want to let everyone know every moment how grateful I am. I will brag about squishing cheeks, and neglecting house work to hold my little one through it's nap. I am so very excited to be a mother one last time. I think I definitely deserve to be very happy when this pregnancy ends well, but I hope that I will also remember the difficulty, and remember to be sensitive to others.
I'll post on Tuesday, and let you know how the doctor's appointment goes!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Big News!!
Most of you already know my big news, but for those of you who don't, I'm pregnant!!
Yes! It was a huge surprise, but a very happy one.
I finally took a pregnancy test when I was about 5 weeks along, and by the end of that week, I was having problems. I was in a lot of pain, and I just figured that I would be losing this pregnancy very soon. I went to bed to try to control the pain, and the cramping and contractions would stop when I stayed in bed. I am now 11 weeks along, and most of the last 6 weeks have been spent in bed. Whenever I get up and try to get things done, I end up in pain again.
I found a specialist on some message boards that I checked out when I thought I was miscarrying. The earliest he can get me in is the middle of November, after my first trimester is done. I have heard some wonderful reviews of him, and it sounds like he is a very proactive doctor. He specializes in helping women who have lost several pregnancies carry their babies to term.
We were not going to tell the kids until I was very far along, because we weren't sure how this pregnancy would turn out. They still really struggle with our last loss. We finally told them, because I need so much help from them. They were excited to help out, but they have lost a lot of that enthusiasm. Mom came out last week, and spent several hours helping me clean my house. It was WONDERFUL to see clean floors again!! A few ladies in my ward are bringing us dinners this week. It really is amazing how people come out of the woodwork to help when you need them.
My biggest struggle right now is keeping my spirits up. I am reading a lot, and my sister gave us a TV and Hubby got it all set up so I can watch TV and Movies in my bed. I am due in May, and that seems so very far away. This pregnancy is acting very much like my last pregnancy. I spent two months in bed, and I ended up losing the baby anyway. We are trying to be hopeful, but realistic. I will feel much better when I can get into the doctor, and get some answers.
Yes! It was a huge surprise, but a very happy one.
I finally took a pregnancy test when I was about 5 weeks along, and by the end of that week, I was having problems. I was in a lot of pain, and I just figured that I would be losing this pregnancy very soon. I went to bed to try to control the pain, and the cramping and contractions would stop when I stayed in bed. I am now 11 weeks along, and most of the last 6 weeks have been spent in bed. Whenever I get up and try to get things done, I end up in pain again.
I found a specialist on some message boards that I checked out when I thought I was miscarrying. The earliest he can get me in is the middle of November, after my first trimester is done. I have heard some wonderful reviews of him, and it sounds like he is a very proactive doctor. He specializes in helping women who have lost several pregnancies carry their babies to term.
We were not going to tell the kids until I was very far along, because we weren't sure how this pregnancy would turn out. They still really struggle with our last loss. We finally told them, because I need so much help from them. They were excited to help out, but they have lost a lot of that enthusiasm. Mom came out last week, and spent several hours helping me clean my house. It was WONDERFUL to see clean floors again!! A few ladies in my ward are bringing us dinners this week. It really is amazing how people come out of the woodwork to help when you need them.
My biggest struggle right now is keeping my spirits up. I am reading a lot, and my sister gave us a TV and Hubby got it all set up so I can watch TV and Movies in my bed. I am due in May, and that seems so very far away. This pregnancy is acting very much like my last pregnancy. I spent two months in bed, and I ended up losing the baby anyway. We are trying to be hopeful, but realistic. I will feel much better when I can get into the doctor, and get some answers.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Family Picture Take 2
I have spent the last little while learning a few new tricks in photoshop, and I spent (wasted) all day today, trying to re-do the family picture. I told my sister that I would post it so she could see it. Sorry for posting the same picture again. Kell, this is for you.
And I just had to post one of my favorite pictures from this last month.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
More Photoshop Denial
In my post earlier today, I talked about the "virtual diet" that you can go through in photoshop. Here is my example.
If only it was that easy in real life.
If only it was that easy in real life.
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Photoshop
I've been messing around a bit more in Photoshop. I am still very lost most of the time, but I am learning a little more each day. One of the most dangerous tools I have found is how to do "virtual weight loss." I have spent way too much time altering pictures of myself to see just how good I could make myself look. You can trim, enlarge, tone, get rid of wrinkles and blemishes, whiten teeth, add volume to your hair, plump lips, and even give yourself fake eyelashes and make-up. Luckily I am not very good, and the pictures usually come out looking at least a little distorted. I do find myself looking in the mirror wishing I could do the same thing in real life. It is scary how with a few clicks of a mouse, you can completely erase reality.
Sorry for the tangent. Today, I have spent my day changing this:
It is far from perfect, but I learned a lot doing it. It has been a long time since we have had a family picture taken, and it was kind of fun to create one on my own. I'm not happy that half of my head is missing. I am learning a little more each time I attempt a project, and I see things that I want to do differently when I take a picture. It gives me some definite goals to work on.
It has been fun having hobbies that don't include cooking, cleaning, and "momming." I have realized that I am much more aware of things lately. I went to the dentist last week, and I spent some time checking out the photographs in the office. I find myself analyzing things more, and really thinking. I'm still trying to balance my time between the "want-to"s and the "have-to"s.
I have to quickly tell the story that goes with this picture. My mom has given me the assignment to get family pictures of everyone in my family. I finally got my kids organized on Sunday, and started taking pictures. I set up the tripod, and tried to "arrange" my family for a picture. Max always has to be in the middle of the action. He kept getting in my way as I was taking individual pictures of the kids. When we all sat down to take the family picture, it was too much for him. He came running in and got in the way, just as the timer was beeping. I was annoyed, thinking we would have to take the pictures all over again, and my battery was threatening to die at any moment. I yelled at Max to get out, and Hubby told him to sit. He sat there next to the family and posed as the pictures were taken. Allen and I were both cracking up. I don't think I could have gotten him to sit there like that if I had tried all day.
Sorry for the tangent. Today, I have spent my day changing this:
Into this:
It is far from perfect, but I learned a lot doing it. It has been a long time since we have had a family picture taken, and it was kind of fun to create one on my own. I'm not happy that half of my head is missing. I am learning a little more each time I attempt a project, and I see things that I want to do differently when I take a picture. It gives me some definite goals to work on.
It has been fun having hobbies that don't include cooking, cleaning, and "momming." I have realized that I am much more aware of things lately. I went to the dentist last week, and I spent some time checking out the photographs in the office. I find myself analyzing things more, and really thinking. I'm still trying to balance my time between the "want-to"s and the "have-to"s.
I have to quickly tell the story that goes with this picture. My mom has given me the assignment to get family pictures of everyone in my family. I finally got my kids organized on Sunday, and started taking pictures. I set up the tripod, and tried to "arrange" my family for a picture. Max always has to be in the middle of the action. He kept getting in my way as I was taking individual pictures of the kids. When we all sat down to take the family picture, it was too much for him. He came running in and got in the way, just as the timer was beeping. I was annoyed, thinking we would have to take the pictures all over again, and my battery was threatening to die at any moment. I yelled at Max to get out, and Hubby told him to sit. He sat there next to the family and posed as the pictures were taken. Allen and I were both cracking up. I don't think I could have gotten him to sit there like that if I had tried all day.
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