Still Hanging in there and feeling grateful!

I have now finished my first trimester, and things have not changed very much.  I have good days and bad days. 

My first doctors visit is on Tuesday.  They are going to do an ultrasound.  I really hope to get some good news, and some answers. 

Tonight, Michael said the blessing on our food.  The kids are so cute to bless the baby in their prayers.  For some reason, the wording they use is that "the baby can come out safe."  Tonight, Michael blessed the baby that it could come out safe, and be strong and healthy, and live to be really old.  I sure love my kids!

A few weeks ago, Michael came and told me that he didn't think this baby would be born.  I told him that it really sucked that he thought that, because I think, often times, kids are more in tune with what is going on that adults are.  We talked about how we would be sad if the baby doesn't make it, but that it would be okay, because we were already so very blessed to have the family that we have.  Allen heard what we were talking about and he had to come add his two cents.  He feels like everything will be just fine, and that we will have a healthy baby at the end of this pregnancy.

It is interesting how many references there are to babies in this world.  Of course, most times when women announce their pregnancies, it is a joyful experience.  When mothers bring new babies around, everyone coos, and cuddles the little bundles.  Advertisers cash in on the baby cute factor with many pictures of babies, and the also try to connect with mothers, by showing mom's cuddling with babies, kids playing happily etc.  After my miscarriage, and with this pregnancy, as I thought I was loosing the baby, these experiences would always make me cry.  I didn't realize how many of these situations were out there until it became a painful thing.  I've recently been following a friends blog.  He was a good friend in high school, and his blog shares his family's adventures.  He and his wife were married for 14 years before they were able to adopt a young girl from China.  He is now back there adopting his second little girl.  I have many friends who have not been able to have kids, or who have struggled for many years to become pregnant, failing many expensive tries.  I know, if I have this baby, I will want to shout from the rooftops!  I will want to let everyone know every moment how grateful I am.  I will brag about squishing cheeks, and neglecting house work to hold my little one through it's nap.  I am so very excited to be a mother one last time.  I think I definitely deserve to be very happy when this pregnancy ends well, but I hope that I will also remember the difficulty, and remember to be sensitive to others.

I'll post on Tuesday, and let you know how the doctor's appointment goes!