It's a boy!!!!

Hopefully, someday I will update this blog with our Christmas update, but I know if I don't get this pregnancy update out, some family members might panic.

We went in today to have our 20 week ultrasound.  I won't officially be 20 weeks until Thursday, but we were able to get all the measurements that we needed.  Everything looks really good, and we found out that we are having a boy.  We took Makenzie and Morgan with us.  Morgan told us before we went back that he KNEW we were going to have a girl.  I really hoped that he would not throw a fit if it ended up being a boy.

The technician had a tough time finding out the sex of the baby.  Our little guy kept his feet tucked up under his bottom for most of the ultrasound.  When she finally announced that it was a boy, Morgan jumped off his chair and began jumping and dancing around the room.  He is so excited.  The whole way home they kids kept singing, "It's a boy, it's a boy, it's a boy."  I was a little worried that Makenzie would feel bad that she will always be the only girl, but she was very excited to have another brother.

I will go in in a week, and I think the doctor and I will be discussing how to proceed for the rest of the pregnancy.  The only problem that the technician could find is my placenta is low.  She said that they will most likely keep an eye on it, but that it should lift back up as the pregnancy progresses.

I woke up in a panic last night, sure that things would not go well today.  My fears always seem huge in the night.  I'm so glad that I was wrong.  I feel very relieved now that we have checked everything out.  Hopefully I can quit worrying so much.

Pregnancy Update

Once again, I am posting very late, so hopefully I can keep this short.

I went to the doctor today, and I had a quick appointment.  The ultrasound showed a strong heartbeat, and a very active baby.  So stinking cute!  I desperately hope I get to see this little one for real someday.

I have been having some problems with my mouth.  It is so sore, swollen and sensitive.  It is the first time I have experienced anything like this.  When I explained it to the doctor, he said that it might be thrush.  They put me on a mouthwash, and he let me know that if I don't see a dramatic improvement in 48 hours, quit using it.

I will go into the doctor for a very quick check-up next week.  The clinic is completely booked, but the nurse pulled some strings and double booked an appointment for me that is just long enough to squeeze in a quick ultrasound.  I explained to the nurse that I wanted to bring my kids to the big ultrasound on the 27th, but I am worried after the horror of last time.  She suggested bringing the kids, the technician can take me back first and make sure everything is okay, and then bring the kids back.  I sure do love my nurses.  They take very good care of me!

I think I am feeling the baby move more, but I also thought that I felt the baby moving before each of my miscarriages, and the baby had been dead for three weeks at that point.  It is still reassuring.  I have discovered that large amounts of stress bring on very painful cramps, and I have also started having back pain this week.  I will be 18 weeks along on Thursday.  We are almost halfway there!

Dr. Appointment- 16 weeks

I completely forgot that I told my sister I would update my blog after I had my doctor's appointment today.  It was a very routine appointment.  I will be 17 weeks on Thursday.  The babies I miscarried died at 16 to 17 weeks.  When the nurse took me into the room, another nurse came in right after us.  She let me know that she had a mom who was very early in her pregnancy that needed the room.  They had tried to find her baby's heartbeat with the Doppler device, and were unable to find it.  They were going to look with the ultrasound (That poor mom!  I hope everything turned out okay for her).  The nurse looked at my chart, and she saw that we had checked the baby just a week ago.  She asked me if we could skip it this week.  I let her know that I really needed to see the baby, and to make sure it was okay.  I explained the situation to her, and she was very accommodating.  We had a quick ultrasound to see the baby's heartbeat.  The little guy/girl moved around just enough to let us know it was okay, and then they whisked me to another room that didn't have an ultrasound machine where I talked to the doctor for a while.  I have another appointment in a week, and then I have my big ultrasound scheduled for December 27th.  Hubby and kids all have work and school off that day, so we need to figure out if everyone is going to come, or if just some of us are going to go.  I talked to the kids about it after school today.  Allen decided that he does not want to go.  Michael was very concerned.  He kept asking if the baby is okay, and if we will be seeing a dead baby on the ultrasound.  I did remind them how the ultrasound went the last pregnancy, and I let them know that that could happen again.  Morgan is so excited to see the baby kick around inside of me.  He wasn't with us last time, and I think he is less traumatized than the other kids are.  I am a little scared, but I am also very excited.  I really hope and pray that everything will go perfectly this time.

Dr. Appointment

Today, I had my second doctor's appointment.  For my last appointment, I went into a section of the hospital where they do the ultrasounds, and conduct non-stress tests.  Today was my first appointment in the actual OB department.

In the past, my OB's offices have been very sparse.  The OB typically comes in with a little handheld Doppler to listen to the baby's heartbeat.  Sometimes, the OB has a separate room for ultrasounds, and sometimes I have been sent to a separate facility for my ultrasound.  I was expecting this appointment to be similar to those appointments. 

After the nurse took my vital signs, she told me that another nurse would be coming in to find the baby's heartbeat.  I noticed the ultrasound machine next to the bed, but assumed that she would be finding the heartbeat with the little Doppler device that my previous doctors used.  I was very glad that I was wrong, and when the nurse came in, she did a quick ultrasound to find the heartbeat.  The office has a large TV right in front of the bed so I could see the ultrasound very clearly.  The heartbeat was good, but the baby was very still.  I asked the nurse if that was normal, and she assured me that it was.  She kept the ultrasound on for a while, looking for some movement to reassure me, and we waited for quite a while.  She then shook and poked my stomach and the baby woke up, and began moving around.  It was adorable!  I really appreciated the nurse for taking the time to help me feel better.

When she left, the doctor came in to see how I was doing.  We went over my blood tests from last week, and everything came back normal except for one of the tests.  They found that I have a genetic disorder called the Factor V Leiden Mutation.  After talking to the doctor for quite a while, I still am pretty unclear about what this means.  I know that it is a clotting disorder.  When I told my doctor that I wanted the name of the disorder so I could research it a bit, he told me that I would find a lot of scary stuff online.  I came home, and gave the info to my husband, and had him do the research for me.  I don't need anything extra to worry about right now.  The doctor let me know about the research that has been done, and there doesn't seem to be any conclusive results.  Some doctors believe that the mutation causes an increased chance of miscarriage, and maternal death, but other doctors disagree.  There are not conclusive results to back up either claim.  The doctor gave me three options.  He said we could 1) do nothing. 2) Take a baby aspirin everyday, which will have a very small chance of doing anything, or 3) I could give myself heparin shots twice a day for the remainder of my pregnancy.  The info that he gave me made this option seem unnecessary, and I hate shots!  We decided to take the baby aspirin.  I'm ready for some concrete answers.  All the ambiguity is driving me crazy.

The doctor will see me weekly for the next 5 weeks, and then hopefully I will be in the clear.  I'm very grateful that the baby looks healthy.  This pregnancy is the last time I "have to" do, or deal with many things, and this is also the last time I "get to" do things.  Some of my "get to's" are seeing my little baby on the ultrasound, and feeling the baby move inside of me.  One of my favorite "get to's" is seeing the baby of the family experience a pregnancy for the first time, and all the excitement that comes with it.  Morgan is SO excited to be a big brother!

Hannukah Songs

This morning, my husband and I were trying to sleep in.  My kids did not have access to the TV or computer, and I was a little nervous about how they would entertain themselves while they were unsupervised.  When I woke up, I heard them all listening to Christmas songs on our local radio station.  Then I heard Morgan chime in in his lispy voice with his version of a Hanukkah favorite.

I had a little dreidel,
I made it out of snow,
I baked it in the oven,
Where did my dreidel go?

Pregnancy Update

Today, I finally got in to see my new doctor.

We started with an ultrasound with the technician, and my cute little baby had a good strong heartbeat.  It looked good, and the baby was a good size.  It was so cute seeing it kick around in there.

The doctor came in.  First question, "How are you doing?"  Second question, "What is wrong with you?"

We went through my pregnancy history (4 pregnancies ending in live babies, and 3 ending in miscarriage- 2 of those losses occuring at 20 weeks), and discussed all of my fears.  He was blunt and honest.  He let me know which of my fears were valid, and which I needed to let go.

He told me that my worries about pre-term labor, and bed rest could be let go.  He basically told me that if this pregnancy is going to make it, it will not be because I spend 9 months in bed.  He sees a lot of high risk patients, and he says that with a history like mine, this pregnancy has a 40% to 50% chance of ending in fetal demise between the 15th and 20th week.  He did tell me that if I can make it to 20 weeks, I should be safe.  He told me that there are many women who loose multiple pregnancies in the second trimester, and we usually don't find any reason for it.  Usually this is because the testing for the genetic abnormalities that cause the miscarriages are very expensive, and not covered by insurance.

We did some blood tests to rule out many causes.  He is pretty sure the tests will all come back negative.

He is going to see me again in two weeks, and then he will see me weekly during the time when my other babies died.  He told me that once we get to 20 weeks, we can plan on having a boring pregnancy.  That will be nice.

I am pleased with this doctor.  He only takes very high risk paitents, and he only takes a handful of those.  I feel really lucky that he has accepted me as a patient, and that he will be helping me do everything I can to get this baby here safely.  I do wish I had some more concrete answers though.  I hate the waiting game, but it was nice to get the news that the baby is healthy right now.  I'll keep you updated.

Still Hanging in there and feeling grateful!

I have now finished my first trimester, and things have not changed very much.  I have good days and bad days. 

My first doctors visit is on Tuesday.  They are going to do an ultrasound.  I really hope to get some good news, and some answers. 

Tonight, Michael said the blessing on our food.  The kids are so cute to bless the baby in their prayers.  For some reason, the wording they use is that "the baby can come out safe."  Tonight, Michael blessed the baby that it could come out safe, and be strong and healthy, and live to be really old.  I sure love my kids!

A few weeks ago, Michael came and told me that he didn't think this baby would be born.  I told him that it really sucked that he thought that, because I think, often times, kids are more in tune with what is going on that adults are.  We talked about how we would be sad if the baby doesn't make it, but that it would be okay, because we were already so very blessed to have the family that we have.  Allen heard what we were talking about and he had to come add his two cents.  He feels like everything will be just fine, and that we will have a healthy baby at the end of this pregnancy.

It is interesting how many references there are to babies in this world.  Of course, most times when women announce their pregnancies, it is a joyful experience.  When mothers bring new babies around, everyone coos, and cuddles the little bundles.  Advertisers cash in on the baby cute factor with many pictures of babies, and the also try to connect with mothers, by showing mom's cuddling with babies, kids playing happily etc.  After my miscarriage, and with this pregnancy, as I thought I was loosing the baby, these experiences would always make me cry.  I didn't realize how many of these situations were out there until it became a painful thing.  I've recently been following a friends blog.  He was a good friend in high school, and his blog shares his family's adventures.  He and his wife were married for 14 years before they were able to adopt a young girl from China.  He is now back there adopting his second little girl.  I have many friends who have not been able to have kids, or who have struggled for many years to become pregnant, failing many expensive tries.  I know, if I have this baby, I will want to shout from the rooftops!  I will want to let everyone know every moment how grateful I am.  I will brag about squishing cheeks, and neglecting house work to hold my little one through it's nap.  I am so very excited to be a mother one last time.  I think I definitely deserve to be very happy when this pregnancy ends well, but I hope that I will also remember the difficulty, and remember to be sensitive to others.

I'll post on Tuesday, and let you know how the doctor's appointment goes!

Big News!!

Most of you already know my big news, but for those of you who don't, I'm pregnant!! 

Yes!  It was a huge surprise, but a very happy one.

I finally took a pregnancy test when I was about 5 weeks along, and by the end of that week, I was having problems.  I was in a lot of pain, and I just figured that I would be losing this pregnancy very soon.  I went to bed to try to control the pain, and the cramping and contractions would stop when I stayed in bed.  I am now 11 weeks along, and most of the last 6 weeks have been spent in bed.  Whenever I get up and try to get things done, I end up in pain again.

I found a specialist on some message boards that I checked out when I thought I was miscarrying.  The earliest he can get me in is the middle of November, after my first trimester is done.  I have heard some wonderful reviews of him, and it sounds like he is a very proactive doctor.  He specializes in helping women who have lost several pregnancies carry their babies to term.

We were not going to tell the kids until I was very far along, because we weren't sure how this pregnancy would turn out.  They still really struggle with our last loss.  We finally told them, because I need so much help from them.  They were excited to help out, but they have lost a lot of that enthusiasm.  Mom came out last week, and spent several hours helping me clean my house.  It was WONDERFUL to see clean floors again!!  A few ladies in my ward are bringing us dinners this week.  It really is amazing how people come out of the woodwork to help when you need them.

My biggest struggle right now is keeping my spirits up.  I am reading a lot, and my sister gave us a TV and Hubby got it all set up so I can watch TV and Movies in my bed.  I am due in May, and that seems so very far away.  This pregnancy is acting very much like my last pregnancy.  I spent two months in bed, and I ended up losing the baby anyway.  We are trying to be hopeful, but realistic.  I will feel much better when I can get into the doctor, and get some answers.

Family Picture Take 2

I have spent the last little while learning a few new tricks in photoshop, and I spent (wasted) all day today, trying to re-do the family picture.  I told my sister that I would post it so she could see it.  Sorry for posting the same picture again.  Kell, this is for you.

And I just had to post one of my favorite pictures from this last month.

More Photoshop Denial

In my post earlier today, I talked about the "virtual diet" that you can go through in photoshop.  Here is my example.

If only it was that easy in real life.

Photoshop

I've been messing around a bit more in Photoshop.  I am still very lost most of the time, but I am learning a little more each day.  One of the most dangerous tools I have found is how to do  "virtual weight loss."  I have spent way too much time altering pictures of myself to see just how good I could make myself look.  You can trim, enlarge, tone, get rid of wrinkles and blemishes, whiten teeth, add volume to your hair, plump lips, and even give yourself fake eyelashes and make-up.  Luckily I am not very good, and the pictures usually come out looking at least a little distorted.  I do find myself looking in the mirror wishing I could do the same thing in real life.  It is scary how with a few clicks of a mouse, you can completely erase reality.

Sorry for the tangent.  Today, I have spent my day changing this:

Into this:

It is far from perfect, but I learned a lot doing it.  It has been a long time since we have had a family picture taken, and it was kind of fun to create one on my own.  I'm not happy that half of my head is missing.  I am learning a little more each time I attempt a project, and I see things that I want to do differently when I take a picture.  It gives me some definite goals to work on.

It has been fun having hobbies that don't include cooking, cleaning, and "momming."  I have realized that I am much more aware of things lately.  I went to the dentist last week, and I spent some time checking out the photographs in the office.  I find myself analyzing things more, and really thinking.  I'm still trying to balance my time between the "want-to"s and the "have-to"s.

I have to quickly tell the story that goes with this picture.  My mom has given me the assignment to get family pictures of everyone in my family.  I finally got my kids organized on Sunday, and started taking pictures.  I set up the tripod, and tried to "arrange" my family for a picture.  Max always has to be in the middle of the action.  He kept getting in my way as I was taking individual pictures of the kids.  When we all sat down to take the family picture, it was too much for him.  He came running in and got in the way, just as the timer was beeping.  I was annoyed, thinking we would have to take the pictures all over again, and my battery was threatening to die at any moment.  I yelled at Max to get out, and Hubby told him to sit.  He sat there next to the family and posed as the pictures were taken.  Allen and I were both cracking up.  I don't think I could have gotten him to sit there like that if I had tried all day.

My Little Miracle

When my older brother was a baby, my parents bought a jumper for him.  It was one of those slings with that would hang either from a doorway, or by a hook from the ceiling with a spring.  He was a very high energy child, and he was able to burn a lot of his energy in the jumper.  We have a few family stories about him spinning a hook right out of the ceiling from jumping around so much.  My uncle would play cards right in front of him, and he would jump forwards and back and scatter the cards.  That jumper lasted through 7 kids, and is still in great shape.  Many families think that a swing is a necessity for a baby.  In our family, it's a jumper.

My niece in the "antique" jumper.

Allen is the oldest of the grandkids on my side.  He needed constant attention as a baby, and my mom suggested a jumper for him.  She allowed me to borrow her original jumper, but she also realized that she had one jumper, and 7 kids who would want it, and so we began looking for a few more jumpers to add to the collection.

We found one called the Bungee Baby Bouncer, that was close.  My mom bought 3 of them.  They have been passed around the family.  My sister had twins, and she was able to do many hours of laundry while the babies were in the jumpers.

I couldn't find a picture of Makenzie in the jumper, so I just threw in one of my favorite baby pictures.  :)

Morgan was probably a little too young for the jumper at this point.

Each of my kids really loved it. 

This weekend, Hubby and I had our annual "Clean out the garage" day.  Last year, as we had gone through things we had made two stacks of boxes.  We gave some of our baby clothes away to friends and family, but the majority of them were going to be sent to charity.  We were able to fit half of the boxes in the car, but we never did make a second trip last year.  This year as we were cleaning, we loaded up the car with all the boxes from last year.  I decided not to go through them.  I really hate the idea of not having any more kids, but I also know that that is just the way it has to be now.  Last year, as I went through the boxes, it was really hard to say good-bye to all the clothes my kids had worn, and my hopes of having another baby.

As we were going through things, I found the bar and spring loaded clamp to the jumper.  I put it aside with a pile of stuff I need to take to my mom.  When we finished the garage, I realized that we never found the sling that goes with the jumper.  Then I remembered that I had packed it in with some of the baby clothes, thinking I would go through the boxes before I gave them away.  It had been dropped off with all the rest of our stuff.  I was sick.  I realized that there was no way I would ever find it again.  The place where we dropped off the boxes of clothes gets tons of donations every day.  I tried to be satisfied that I still had the most complicated piece of the jumper.  My mom is an amazing seamstress, and I tried to convince myself that we would be able to come up with something that would work, but every time I saw that bar it made me sick to my stomach.

Today, I went out to the car to take Morgan to Kindergarten.  As I helped him into his seat, something under the seat caught my eye.  It was the sling to the jumper. 

We had at least 20 boxes of stuff in the car.  Nothing tipped over or spilled.  The only thing from those 20 boxes that is left in the car is that sling.  There is absolutely no logical explanation for why it is still in there.  I actually called Hubby to see if he had seen it in the box, and taken it out.  He was just as flabbergasted as I am.  It is definitely a small thing, but it is my little miracle.  It is little things like this that constantly remind me that God knows who I am, and he knows the little things I need.  He loves me, and although he allows me to suffer and have pain (I could never grow or learn if he didn't) he is there for me, and cares for me, and encourages me.

I'm very grateful for the little miracles in my life.

Buttermilk Pancakes

One of our very favorite breakfasts is buttermilk pancakes.  We usually reserve them for birthday's and special occasions, but we had some leftover buttermilk, so I had hubby run to the store on his way home from work to pick us up some Cool Whip, and we had breakfast for dinner!

We 4x the recipe below to feed our family.  (My kids love having the leftovers for breakfast the next day.)  1 recipe makes about 9 pancakes.

We like pancakes, but we LOVE buttermilk pancakes!

My Man and our Cars

When Hubby and I met in 1995, he owned a 1981 Toyota Tercel that he had bought for $800.  We drove that car around the college campus the whole time we were dating.  The alternator went out on it several times, and we worked together to get it working again.  I shouted and danced around our circle when we finally got it to work.  I remember working on it in my parents garage in December, and we took a hairdryer into the garage to warm our numb fingers.  Watching hubby work on his car was the first time I had ever seen anyone work on their own car.  I had heard about people doing it, but everyone I knew just took their car to a mechanic when it broke down, but not my cute curly-haired boyfriend.

We had that car, that Hubby lovingly named "Betty," for about a month after we were married.  The gas gauge didn't work, which made driving an adventure.  Our method for changing the oil was rather easy.  You wait for most of it to leak out, and then you fill it back up.  She overheated very easily, and so when we took long trips, it always had to be overnight, so she could handle the heat.

Hubby went into the Army, and while he was in basic training, I moved back home, sans Betty.  My dad was ready to replace his gold 1989 Honda Civic Hatchback, and so he sold it to us, even after I had called it an "old-man car."  It was a 2 door hatchback, which made it tricky to get car seats in and out, but we became quite skilled at it.  We were a one car family until we were getting ready for baby #3.  At that time, we realized that there was no way we were going to be able to fit 3 car seats into the back of that car, and so in 2001 we went car shopping.

We went to the dealership, and tried to find a nice mini-van.  All of the mini-vans were out of our price range, and they were unwilling to deal with us for a van, but for some reason, they were willing to drastically reduce the price of a beautiful white Dodge Durango that was only a year old with a VCR built in.  That was a FUN car to drive!  The only downside was the horrible gas mileage, but that car had a ton of power!  Hubby often wanted to go off-roading in it, but I always made him drive conservatively, so our car would last forever.

One Sunday morning, six months after buying our car, we were heading to church.  We left our condo to go find our car in our designated spot, but when we got to the parking lot, our car was gone.  Someone had stolen it!  (Quick plug for USAA!  Best insurance company EVER!)

We started looking for a new car at a few different dealerships, and when they asked us what we wanted, we let them know we wanted the least steal-able car!  We ended up finally buying a used 2001 Dodge Caravan.  We were a two car family until 2004 when Hubby was broadsided by an illegal immigrant.

We still have our Caravan, and it has served us well.  It is just shy of 100,000 miles, and it is finally starting to show it's age.  We finally bought a second car (Hubby's car) last year, and so the van has become the Mom Taxi.  In the last year, it has developed several fun sounds.  We clunk, and squeal our way around the neighborhood.  I actually ended up naming the sounds to preserve my sanity.  When a chirping squeak shows up, we say "There's Chester."  I like to think of our car as a musical car.  It announces our arrival to everyone around.  As I was picking up the kids from school this last week, we could clearly hear one of the middle school girls tell her friend, "That car is sooooo annoying!"

Well, this week, Hubby tackled our musical car.  He took the day off of work and he replaced the brakes, and the belt, and changed the oil.  He ran into obstacles every step of the way, and I think he is now on a first name basis with the cashier at Auto zone.  He was absolutely filthy.  We still have some work to do on the car in order for it to be completely ready, but my car is now squeal, chirp and clunk free. 

Babe!  Thanks for taking such good care of me!

Morgan's "Toy"

This morning, Morgan had his Kindergarten entrance exam.  He really knows his stuff, but he gets lazy, and gives up easily, so. . . I bribed him.

I let him know that if he did his best, and didn't give up, we would go for ice cream at our local grocery store when he finished.  He did a great job, and so we headed over for his treat.  While we ate our ice cream, we walked through the store.  I decided to buy a new dish scrubber, so we headed over to look at them.  Right next to the dish brushes was an item Morgan decided he had to have.

His new feather duster was the hit of the day!  Only problem.  Max wanted to kill it.

I kept having to pull Allen away from the dusting so he could finish his homework.

If only all my kids toys were this productive.

Critters

When I was younger, one of my family's favorite vacation spots was my Grandma's cabin.

We would almost always go to the cabin once every summer as a family, and I would also spend some time up there with my grandparents.  My Grandma was an animal lover.  When we stayed at the cabin, one of the highlights was seeing all the animals.  We would put sunflower seeds and peanuts on the railing for the chipmunks and squirrels, and it was a rare treat to see the deer at the salt lick, or to spot a flying squirrel.

My grandma had named several of the animals, and she felt that it was her personal duty to take care of all of them.  I remember spending hours watching the quick little chipmunks stuffing their cheeks full of the seeds, and creating all kinds of obstacle courses for them.  We would lure them into little chipmunk houses made out of my Grandpa's baseball hats.  I still remember the feeling of little chipmunk feet in my hand on the rare occasion that I was patient enough, and held still enough for one to eat out of my hand.

We loved watching them.

Yesterday, I got to experience that feeling of watching little animals forage once again.

I was in my kitchen, doing dishes, and I noticed something scurrying along under my tree.  I had that rush of excitement that I used to feel as I watched the chipmunks for .3 seconds, until I realized that I was not at the cabin, and I realized that the critter was not a cute chipmunk.  Two very large brown rats were scurrying back and forth between my cucumber plants, and their nest they have under our shed.  I'm pretty sure these animals are responsible for the nest we found in our garage.  They were cute, and I did enjoy watching them run back and forth with food in their mouth (although, I did have a tough time sleeping last night).  But that didn't stop me from having my husband stock our backyard and garage with a good supply of D-Con.  I hope Grandma understands.

I would love to say that this will be the last chapter in my escapades with critters book, but I am afraid that there will be another one coming soon.  There is a hole in a wall that leads from the garage to our storage room.  Recently, we have found pieces of insulation on the floor, and on another occasion, small pieces of drywall.

{{sigh}}

Back to School FHE

Tonight, we are going to do this fun Family Home Evening activity that I found on my friends blog.

Poppin' back to School Family Home Evening Lesson.

Go here for more information on what Family Home Evening is.

A dose of Reality

I love kids imaginations!  I also love it when your kid gives you a little glimpse into their head, and suddenly you see all the conversations you have had with them in a different light.

Several years ago, Michael had an experience where we had to shatter his little fantasy world, and bring him back to reality.  He had been struggling with being good in church, and so our sweet primary president began bribing him.  She bought most kid movies that came out, and so she let Michael know that if he was good in church, he could come over and pick out a movie to watch in the afternoon.  Two of the movies that we watched were Shark Boy and Lava Girl, (I still have to laugh when I hear all the Twilight fans swooning over Taylor Lautner.  I still see Shark Boy every time I see him) and Sky High.  Both of these movies are about kids with supernatural powers, and in Sky High, one of the main themes is finding your own power.  A few weeks later, Michael asked me when I thought he would discover what his superpower was.  He told us that he really hoped he would get fire power.  When we broke the news to him that superpowers are not real he cried for a very long time.

I think Allen is still convinced that Jedi, and possibly Transformers, are real, and that we adults are just too simple minded to believe in them.  One of our homeschool math lessons was on probability, and they had a test to test for ESP.  I changed it for our Star Wars loving family to test Jedi mind powers.  Allen got 100% on the test.  There was a second test with a higher probability for failure, and he got 100% on that one too.  His first comment was "And I am really good with a lightsaber too!"

Today, my kids started school.  Morgan has one more week before he starts kindergarten, so we got to spend some one on one time together.  As we were driving, he told me that they have rice in China.  He then asked me if they have houses in China.  I told him that they do.  He then asked me if they have clouds there.  I told him that they did.  When he asked me how I knew, I asked him if they have a sky in China, and if they have rain there.  From the tone of his voice, I could tell that this what a huge revelation to him.  He said, "Ohhh!  I always thought China and Egypt were underground."  We have talked as a family  about countries that are on the "other side of the world," and we have told him that if "you dig straight down you'll hit China," and somehow, in his mind that meant they were under the ground.

Morgan and I were talking about some of the different movies we have watched lately, and we talked about how some things are not real.  I told him that some things are just make believe, "like Transformers."  He was very upset, and told me that he thought Transformers were real.  I would love to see the world through my kids eyes.  It sounds like a much more exciting place.

Sorrow

Today, I recieved some news that someone very dear to me had a miscarriage.  My heart breaks for her, and I spent some time crying.  Going through something like that is so hard, and it is also so hard to watch someone you love and care about go through it.  Grief is so personal.  Whenever I have gone through a loss, there are very few things that people can do.  When I lost my last baby, there were people from the ward who brought us dinner.  There were many people who stopped me in the hall, and told me they were sorry.  It meant a lot to me that people cared about me, and were thinking about me, but there was really nothing that anyone could do to help me through it.  It helped to talk things out, but I had to resolve things in my heart by myself.  It was a very personal time.

To my sweet friend: I would be happy to help in any way I can, but I know that this is something that will be a very personal battle.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers, and I love you so much!!

Tomatoes

One of my favorite things about having a yard, is all the fresh produce we get.  We have been getting tomatoes for about a month and a half.  Luckily, my family loves tomatoes, and we eat them about as fast as we can pick them.

It is Makenzie's job to pick the tomatoes.  I think we only see about half the cherry tomatoes she picks.  Everytime I look outside, she is popping them in her mouth as fast as she picks them.

I went to McDonalds last week and I ordered a salad.  It had these beautiful red grape tomatoes on the top.  When I bit into them, I was shocked at how flavorless they were.  It has been a long time since I have eaten a store bought tomato.  It is going to be so hard to go back to those beautiful, flavorless tomatoes when we run out of fresh tomatoes.  We had BLTs the other day.  I thought I was in heaven!

A few weeks ago, we finally got to the point where we had picked more tomatoes than we could eat, and I decided to can some.

I finally bought my own canning equipment this year.  I canned by myself for the first time last year, but I had to borrow everything.  It felt great to be a little more self sufficient this time.  I still spent most of the day on the phone with my mom.

After all my efforts, I had 4 pints of tomatoes.  The next day, I checked them, and I found that only two had sealed.  When we planted our garden, we planted tomatoes and jalapeños, and I pictured myself bottling enough salsa to feed the world.  Our jalapeños are just starting to grow, and I don't think I will ever have enough tomatoes to bottle the amount that I would like, and that is okay.  If the only benefit I get from my tomatoes is the fresh produce that I get to eat all summer, it will be more than worth it.

On related gardening news, our pumpkins have taken over the east side of our yard, we finally found out how to grow non-bitter cucumbers, and we found our first little baby watermelon and cantaloupe today.

Scary Story

I have had been spending so much time updating my blog with all the past blogs, I need to make sure I am still getting the things that are going on in my life now.

I called my mom yesterday to tell her my "scary story" of the day.   Almost a month ago, I was out in the garage late at night, and I heard some rustling.  I ran back into the house, and slammed the door.  The rest of the family had come back from their trip a few days earlier.  While they were gone, I noticed Max's bag of food, that we keep in the garage, had a rip in it.  I was concerned, but I convinced myself that it had always been there, and I just hadn't noticed it before.  Max also started to show a lot of interest in a hole leading under his dog house.

A few days later, Hubby came in, and he let me know that we did have something living in our garage.  He had heard it, and started rummaging through the garage looking for it.  He noticed several tears in the dog food bag.  He set several sticky traps around the dog food bag, and he even put some dog food in the middle of them.  The next day, there were several new rips in the dog food bag, and the traps had been pushed to the side.  We brought the dog food into the house, and left the traps.

In the next month, the traps caught Allen, Michael and Me, but no animal.  Hubby moved all the boxes in the garage, and he found a large nest of poop, flower bulbs, and dog food.  The scat was to large to be a mouse, so I was hopeful that whatever was living in our garage would not make it into the house through any small holes.

It took me several weeks before I would go into the garage, and after that, I would only venture in with very sturdy shoes on.  There was no sign of any animal for several weeks, and so Hubby convinced me that we had scared the pest away.  Yesterday, I snuck into the garage while the kids were all downstairs playing, in my bare feet, to grab a popsicle.  I saw movement and when I looked, I noticed that there was a mouse stuck to the glue trap.  We had actually given up on catching anything, and we were so sick of having one of our own shoes stuck to the trap that we had thrown it into a bucket.  The trap was old, dusty, and covered with spiders that had met their fate.  I was concerned that it was no longer sticky enough to hold the mouse.

I left the mouse where it was, and came back into the house to call hubby.  I told the kids, and they all had to run out to the garage to see it.  They begged me to let it go, talked about keeping it an naming it, selling it to a pet store. ("But you guys, mice have diseases.  The pet store wouldn't want them."  "But the pet store can just give them rabies shots.")  Michael decided that he wants to create a transporting mouse trap, that will not let the mice into the house, but will simply transport them to a nice grain-filled field.  When Hubby came home, I asked him to go check on the mouse trap.  He went out, and then came right back in to let me know that there were now 3 mice on our dusty trap.

He ended up taking the trap, and putting it into an ice cream bucket.  He wanted to find something to kill the mice quickly, rather than just waiting for them to die of starvation.  He ended up dumping in some paint thinner, and then putting back on the lid.  The paint thinner dissolved the glue on the trap, and soon we had three mice, running around inside an ice cream bucket.  It took about an hour and a half for them to die.

It still gives me goose bumps to write this  (shudder).  The poop in the nest definitely did not come from a mouse, and we still don't know what it was.  We might get to go through this all over again.  I really hope that we really did scare away the bigger animal, and I really hope that there were no additional members of the mouse family that made it into our house.

The Tree

Many families have swing sets, playhouses, or trampolines.  We have . . . the tree.

Our tree came with the house, and it is one of the few plants we have that survived the yard overhaul.

It is my kids favorite place to play.  They each even have their "own branch".

Morgan has been begging for the longest time to climb the tree.  Hubby will pick him up and put him in the tree, but my rule has always been- if you are not old enough to climb the tree, you are not old enough to be in the tree.

Because Morgan could not climb the tree, once hubby put him up there, he would not come down.  He would often bargain with people-

"Allen, will you get me a drink."

"No, get down and get yourself a drink."

"If I get down and get myself a drink, will you help me get back up?"

He always had to have a strategy to get back into the tree.

One day he came and asked me if I would put him in the tree.  I reminded him of my rule.  He went outside, and then came back in 30 seconds later to tell me he could now climb the tree.  Of course, I had to watch him to see if it was true, and sure enough, he had no problem climbing right up.

All the kids had been trying to teach him how to climb the tree for a while, and he finally realized that their method was not the one for him.  As soon as he decided to figure it out on his own, he could scale the tree very quickly.

I'm glad my kids have had so much fun this summer in their tree.  And although I do worry about them when they are out there climbing around like monkeys, it is so much fun to see them out there playing together.  It is fun to have Morgan finally be able to join in with them.  He is finally becoming one of the big kids.

4th of July

We have a family tradition for the 4th of July.  My sister lives in a very small town, with a very large celbration!

She invites everyone in the family to come join in the festivities.  Her house is right along the main road where we have front row seats to the parade, and her house backs right up to the park where the fireworks display is.  It is really the perfect location.

This year, only my parents and my family were able to come.  We missed everyone else, but it was nice having a small group.

My sister and her husband were just finishing putting up their new porch when we got there.

Thanks for inviting us Kell.  It was a blast!

Oh, and Kell, I have a ton of pictures.  I limited the amount of pictures I put on the blog, but just let me know if you would like to see the rest of them.